Silly..

You will get to know who treats you for real, who really cares about you, who wants to know you deeper and who is the one that wouldn't leave you aside only when those that is always there for you 24/7, waiting and wondering how and what you are doing currently.. Because these things will change, can you feel it now? I am tired :) and finally gave up :(

I am lost

I am tired

I am finished

I don't want to be sad

I don't want to be emo

I am tired of trying

I am tired to pleased everyone

I am tired of always be the one who always starts

I am tired to be the one who crumble

I am tired to be the only one who stumble

I am tired to be only one who seems to care

I am too lazy

I hate to be lied

I craved for too much

I gave too much

I am being too silly

I gave up of hanging in there

Things have changed

I am not the same person again

I just want to be happy

I want to be cared

I want to feel warmth again

I want to feel love

I want to be pampered

I want people to give me a head start

I want people to give me a room to breathe

I want people to try and starts things sometimes

I want to feel home

I want people to be there 24/7 for me

I want to live everyday happily

I want to live everyday without scar on my heart

Things have changed from this minute on.

What he has gone thru!

Once upon a time, there's this guy who lives in a world that fills with only happiness and the word sad doesn't exist in this wonderful world. He lives in this world knowing everything will go his way and all he needs to do is just ask and everything will be there right in front of his eyes. A perfect life he is living in indeed. But did it last forever? NO, everything good and bad will definitely comes to an end unless you get to find something in the middle that balance between good and bad. Until then, nothing last forever. It's sad to know but it's the true fact.

Everything has changed for him now. He doesn't know what should he do except wandering around day by day around the gloomy world that he is currently living in and hoping everyday will past faster. Now... He has to fight for everything and learnt the fact that nothing comes for free anymore. He asked and he wish that money does grow on tree but NO, it wont happen again. He sat down beside the tree wondering when will it grow but he is just wasting his time. The world that he used to live in is already gone, no longer getting anything that he wanted and now... he's living in a rather gloomy world without any light to guide him thru.

He needs to learn all over again on how to fight for everything that he wanted. If he wants a lot of money then he will need to work.. He knows that and he did just that.. If he wants a lot of friends then he will need to socialize.. He knows that and he did just that.. If he wants to buy things for his usage then he will need to earn money by himself.. He knows that and he did just that.. Now everything seems to be perfect yet again right but the only thing different is he need to fight and earn everything that he wants. Well, this is where the problem comes.. He is so used to everything comes for free.. He thinks people will love him if they does love him.. There's no need to fight or make people like him.. What a dumb ass!

He always tell himself it's okay.. there's always tomorrow and the right one will definitely come into his life.. and tomorrow.. tomorrow again.. but it never happen.. Maybe she does exist in his life once but he never appreciate her.. Blame himself on letting her go so easily! Dumb ass again! Now, he no longer dares to approach any girl.. no longer dares to tell people how much they meant to him.. no longer dares to give any hope to himself.. no longer dares to make any girl that he likes be his one and only.. it's because he doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore.. But he knows pretty well that there's something missing in this life of his.. To change this gloomy world to the once before sunny and wonderful world.. He need love, caring and warmth.

He is waiting and waiting day by day.. but she never came..

So he continue to wait..

Does waiting always gives a fruitful return? NO!!! Stupid ass again!!

But he doesn't know what to do.. so he just decided to wait!!!

Love poem!

Just feeling like writing a love poem since I haven't give a try to it.. Maybe it would turn out good? wahaha, it means nothing.. So don't get your head crank up!! There it goes.. Brandon's version of love poem.. Written for the coming valentine's day! I hope every couple out there will have an amazing valentine's day as this is my second year without celebrating with anyone special =(

Well, if you are "INDON MEE DOUBLE and NOT SINGLE", here's for you :) but if for INDON MEE SINGLE then it's okay.. may you find someone really special to you soon.. LOVE LOVE LOVE! Wish me luck in finding one real soon.. Getting rotten d laaaaa.. wahahaha, jia lat!

My love, you are like the stars shining down on earth

Providing me the light that I needed most in the dark

Making sure that I don't get lost along the way

So that I could be by your side forever

My love, you are like the sun in the universe

That provides light and warmth to the earth

You hug me with your arms holding me tightly to your body

So that I could feel your love that would make the moment a lifetime

My love, your love is strange but a beautiful thing

I don't love your looks because looks doesn't last a lifetime

But I love your heart, personality and you yourself

A wonderful person such as you, I couldn't find another

My love, you will know how much I love you

How much I needed you and how much I cares about you

Is when I would do anything for you and cherish you

But never ask anything in return, your love will do

My love, the touch of your lips onto mine

Makes my feet and hand goes numb

Every single hair on me feel like dancing

With your kisses is like the music of a wonderful song

My love, all my life I have been waiting for the right one to come into my life

And you are the one that I am waiting for to fill in the gaps of my fingers

God makes our fingers with gap is for a reason or two

But I am sure the main reason is for your hand to fill in those gaps

My love, my eyes and mind is only for you

Every time I close my eyes to sleep, my mind will always be thinking about you

There will be a kind of slideshows that only shows you smiling

This is how much I want you to be happy always.. When you are happy, I am happy

My love, Happy Valentine to you and may our love be strong

Valentine day only comes once a year but my love stays with you forever

I know I am a jerk at times but I promise you I will change myself

For your love is the only thing money can't buy and I will love you forever

I hope you all like this poem.. it took me half an hour to think all of these.. hahaha, is it good? Comment? wahahaha

Being lonely makes you feel LONELY!

People once told me, why do you always do things halfway and could leave behind everything right after quite some time. Don't you want to know the answer? Don't you want to get a hold on things that you put so much effort on? Don't you want a marvelous result on everything that you do? People told me I don't understand you.. You are like someone who comes in and go out just like that and without any reason.. you just let go off everything!

Don't know how I surviving every lonely day for almost 2 years now.. It's not that I don't want but I think the happy go lucky Brandon has far gone.. What I want now is someone that is for sure, someone that will last and someone that I really understand well and not someone who I just like.. No no no, it's very big different between crush, like and love.. I may have crush on 10 people, I may like 5 people but I could just love one. But I don't think there's anyone that could catches my heart and eye at the mean time.. I think I have learnt how to survive without a girlfriend by my side.

If only things doesn't get so complicated, I think everything will be so much easier. This world ain't being too fair to me at the moment. It used to be fair and sometimes it side me for most of the time. But look at me now.. Look at where I stand now.. I stand in the middle of nowhere.. Going no where.. Tears falls from my eye like every night.. What I look forward to is just for the night to end fast and tomorrow comes earlier. Come closer and listen to my whispers.. Listen to what I am telling you.. I don't believe that whoever I like doesn't like me back but whoever I doesn't really care likes me back.. I don't believe this world is so unfair. All I could do is wait and hope for the right one to come along!

Next semester is gonna be a crazy semester for me.. because I am taking 5 subjects at the same time. Who ask me to fail my math! Darn.. Blame myself but no one else. I always tell myself that I am gonna study hard but always I prepare last minute. I think next semester I couldn't play anymore.. Must think of my future also.. wahahaha, as you grew older.. You will understand what is more important and what is just plain dreams. If I turn my back now, am I strong enough to see it through?

Well, I hope I am able to turn my back when it really matters and never look back again. I find it kinda funny and I find it kinda sad because great things doesn't always last forever. There will be a day when we need to be cruel to let go when you know it is time. OBVIOUSLY I don't hope this day will come but c'mon.. Who are we gonna cheat? Hehehe, this is just life eh? A cruel life indeed.. MAD WORLD, MAD PEOPLE, MAD LIFE, MAD WHATEVER.. Nothing comes for free.. There's always something that you are gonna lose in order for you to go forward! Now.. All I hope is I could be strong!

If only I know what I can do to prevent.. I will.. But I don't!
If I turn away, am I strong enough to see it through?

Parents, you and my friends.. I know you are strong.. But I doubt myself!

This world is so cruel and amazing at the same time!

Be happy Brandon!

Fear

Every road that I have taken

This road is the toughest road I have ever live with

Knowing the fact I wont be able to walk this path forever

It took my confidence away and gave me fear

Fear fear fear that this is the greatest

Fear fear fear that this is the most wonderful

Fear fear fear that this is the last one

Fear fear fear that this is not forever

All along I knew that there's something missing

and only one thing left to do

Had to leave behind this life I am living

Which is saddest case ever

I may not be the best perfect person

I may not be the one to make your life wonderful

I may not be the one to make you laugh most

But I am certainly one that gave my best

There are so many questions

Which has no answer for each of them

Fearing that this life is what I want most but

Knowing it's not gonna last, kills!

I know I demand a lot from one

I know I try too hard and gave too much

I know not probably I am gonna get what I want

But I know it's worth it at the end of the day

You are the one who gave me a new path to walk

Finally, I gain back my confidence

I love this life I am living in currently

Is it too late to change everything?

If only everything goes according to what I want

If only things has not gone so complicated

If only everything seems so easy

I believe I am not gonna be moody knowing I am leaving!

Friends

There's a time when everyone gathers

We laughed, we joked and we dance all night long

Now the time has far gone

and slowly but surely one by one goes their own way

Is this how life is all about

I rather don't want it to happen

but it is one of those things

that we cant decide and handle

My friends, you guys have been awesome

and years gone by like we don't exist in this world

Why not I plan for a gathering

and you people come and join this gathering?

I know, I know you are busy with your life

but all I asked is just one hang out night

Is it all too much to ask from you?

We all missed those days back then

Being here, lonely in my room yet again

Thinking about you all night long

It is hard to get you out of my head

As it is wonderful how much we change for each other

I am thoroughly happy just to see you

Sometimes it is hard to find the right one to be your friend

I don't know how we could hold on this far

Why not you tell me?

and if I could freeze the time

I will freeze it now as I know the future is in doubt

I am a happy man, you are a happy woman

I know we would do everything to be the best

While it is a mammoth task to get your trust

As two person with the same personality

Will always need both parties to co-operate

We succeeded tho, look at where we are now..... (I am pleased)

Are we still going to be as happy?

The past are dull
The present is amazing and wonderful
But the future are in doubt
Are we still going to be as happy as now?

I don't know
I I I hope there's so much more I could do
and to prevent things from happening
But I wouldn't because I don't want to

The future is nearing and

Losing you isn't going to be what I want

but avoiding it is not going to be an option

Living in it makes me feel numb

You are always going to be dear to me
and will always live inside my heart
But we both know there's going to be a day
where we couldn't be as close as now

If we lose each other, are we going to be as happy?

Is our world gonna be as wonderful as now?

How could we move on without each other?

I really don't know but I hope for the best

Perhaps it's just me who felt this way

and that you don't feel the same way I felt

I am just sharing my opinion

and you might just feel I am being silly

I know I did a lot of thing's wrongly

which makes you very disappointed and sad

But I am really sorry towards everything

and I hope you could forget and forgive

My world was colorful when you are there for me

Days passes by with more laughter than sadness

I could leave everything aside just for you, my friend

Do you feel the same way as I am?